Where Are You?
By Carl & Barbara Barthelette
Are you pre-conciliar? Do you follow the spirit or the letter of Vatican II? Perhaps you feel you are ‘just a plain Catholic’? Take this quiz and find out where you’re really at!
1. You meet the bishop after an ordination and you:
a. Kneel and kiss his ring.
b. Shake his hand and say, “Hi! Bishop Bob!”
c. Slap him on the back and tell him a joke about the Pope.
d. Don’t know.
2. You are on vacation in Italy and your parish has asked you to buy something for the church. You purchase:
a. A painting of Pope St. Pius X
b. A statue of St. Francis of Assisi
c. A macrame by the leading woman religious artist in Italy which depicts a triangle with a stylized flame.
d. Don’t know.
3. You believe that priests should:
a. Always dress in cassocks
b. Wear Roman Collar when on duty.
c. Wear clothes except at clothing optional beaches.
d. Don’t know.
4. When you visualize a nun, you picture:
a. Mother Superior from a Bing Crosby movie.
b. The Flying Nun, old-time television series
c. Have never seen a nun in full habit.
d. Don’t know.
5. You have been asked to organize a May Crowning and you:
a. Get the children to process to the statue of Mary singing Bring Flowers of the Fairest.
b .Use a portable amplifier to sing a solo of On Eagle’s Wings.
c. Don’t believe in excessive Marian Devotion.
d. Don’t know.
6. Someone mentions the Papal Bull and you immediately think:
a. The Pope has written something of interest.
b. The Pope has a new pet.
c. Not sure whatever the Pope says even relates to you.
d. Don’t know.
7. You find your toes tapping during the singing at Mass.
a. You check the church bulletin to make sure this is a Catholic Mass.
b. You have been taken with a sudden palsy.
c. You are in tune with the times.
d. Don’t know.
8. Your son tells you he has just brought the latest chant album and it’s totally awesome. Your first reaction:
a. Shock that something so old should be so new.
b. What kind of a name for a rock group is ‘chant’.
c. You are glad to see you have raised a son to be open to Oriental music.
d. Don’t know.
9. The choir director announces they will be singing the gathering song. You:
a. Figure you are already in your pew and don’t need to be gathered.
b. Stand up at the first chord of music and wait five minutes for the priest to come in with the processional hymn.
c. Wonder where you can find a Tridentine Mass.
d. Don’t know.
10. You see the words carpe diem and think it means:
a. Seize the day
b. Grab the carp.
c. There is a law against wearing plain tee shirts.
d. Don’t know.
Figuring your score: Okay, we lied! This test won’t help you. But those of you who answered ‘don’t know’ to all the questions, bless you! You may not reach your eternal reward by a direct route but you don’t seem to be worrying about it in the meantime!
Crazy Quilts, Catholics & Cookies 