Playing the Memories . . .

The priest stopped Mass when the cell phone went off, waiting for the person to turn it off. It kept beeping, buzzing, and ringing. The priest asked again. The noise continued. Finally, the priest narrowed it down to one woman in the congregation and said, “Would you please turn off your cell phone now?”! The woman calmly said, “My cell phone isn’t ringing . . . It’s my son’s Nintendo game.”!
We had a rat in our garage. We named him Willard and then went shopping for whatever it would take to close down Willard. A few days later, I was coming in the garage and there was Willard, passed on to his final reward. I called the children to view the body. My older daughter wanted to know why I wanted them to see a dead rat. Before I could say anything, she answered herself and said, “I guess it was to give us closure.”!
My  ten-year old daughter was working on a novel for English class. I asked if she would be done by the deadline I had set. She said, “Don’t worry. Tell me the day before and I will just kill all the characters off and end the story.”
Morning Mass must be a bit early for many. At the end of one Mass, the priest said, “Our Lady, Queen of Vocations . . .” and the congregation replied, “Pray for us.” Father then said, “Immaculate Mary, page 109.” And the obviously sleepy congregation replied, “Pray for us.”!
And once when attending Mass, the celebrant looked at the congregation across and said, “The Lord be with you.” One dear old lady looked at the other and explained helpfully, “That means ‘Dominus vobiscum’.”